Who Needs Directions - it's a POPTART!

So, one part of the New Year's Resolutions that I officially didn't make was to only shop for groceries once a week. (Oxen and mire notwithstanding) The theory is that in so doing I will a.) be more organized - have a weekly game plan for meals, etc.; b.) save money due to 'a'; c.) save time; and d.) eliminate unnecessary mental anguish caused by taking children to the store. (Please see this post if you need concrete examples of said anguish.) AND, so far, it's working brilliantly. (toot, toot! That's my horn . . .) The one drawback seems to be the brutal amount of time I actually spend in the blasted grocery store when I DO go, and the fact that I seem to pick the busiest times to do my shopping. I know I should just abort the mission when the only parking spaces left are closer to the other stores around than they are to the one I'm headed to. Unfortunately doing things the easy way (should read 'the sensible way') has never been my forte.


Last week I was in line long enough to have obtained my fill of headlines from the 'Enquirer' to 'Outdoor Living' and I still hadn't made it past the candy. What else could I do but peruse the shopping carts around me to see what everyone else was buying. Now, I would be quite horrified to be subjected to this same scrutiny myself. That said, the cart peeping was SO amusing I might never have to read magazines in line again. I saw some things that have always made me ask, 'who buys that?' . . . and now I know. A LOT of people buy a LOT of ridiculous products, and not that I think anyone reading this is one of those people, but I have to ask? Why would you buy. . .

• Cinnamon Sugar? There's no secret ingredient here, folks. It's just Cinnamon. And Sugar. You can't go wrong when you mix it up, in fact , you can make it to your preference! Wow. If you're buying it for the cute shaker jar, you are totally forgiven for the 'cuteness exception'. Just don't do it again.
  


• Peanut Butter and Jelly . . . in the same Jar. Really? Have so little space you don't have room for two jars? PB&J too labor intensive when you have to get TWO jars out? Do you refrigerate it when it's open, for the jelly, or put it in the pantry where the peanut butter BELONGS? Does it make you kind of gag when the two get all smeared together inside the jar? What if you want another flavor of jam?
  


• 'Easy Mac and Cheese'. As if the regular box of Mac and Cheese wasn't easy (and yucky) enough. I feel the same way about this little Mac & Cheese innovation (if you will) as I do about Pop Tarts not only having toaster directions, but MICROWAVE directions. If you don't have enough time to make a box of that dehydrated cheesy goodness on the stove (or to pop a pop tart in the toaster), perhaps it's time to reevaluate some life choices, huh?


• Disposable Toilet Wands. A.) Seriously, get a pair of gloves and a sponge. That's the only way to get it clean anyway. B.) Get over it! C.) Try to save the environment a little bit while you're at it.


• Pre-made, pre-portioned Cookie Dough. Sometimes it's nice to take the shortcut, I get that. BUT isn't it easy enough to spoon/cut/whatever the dough out of the little tube? Do we have to have the dough already portioned for us? Is there really some way to mess up the process? So, so sad.


• Lunchables. First, ewww. Have you seen the 'pizza' ones? Just looking at them is enough to send my gag reflex into overdrive. I wish I could say I had never bought one of these sorry excuses for a lunch, but whiny kids will make you do crazy things. Bottom line (pizza lunchables excluded): cheese. crackers. lunch meat. in a TON of packaging. Not. Rocket. Science. Amen.

Hmm, you get the idea. Thank goodness no one was keeping track of how many bags of Chocolate Chips were in my cart.