What are you Wearing?

Remember the good old days when you could pick up the phone and call anyone you wanted to . . . anonymously? Before caller ID? (What a bad day that was, huh? The first time you prank called someone and they called you right back - oh, the end of an era, that. At least I was past the calling-boys-and-hanging-up-if-they-answered-the-phone stage.) AND, remember when anyone could call YOU. . . anonymously and ask if your refrigerator was running, or just breathe heavily into the phone and say "what are you wearing"? (Now, only your husband would pull something like that, and you're really not fooled even if he calls from a work phone.)

My little brother played a really funny YouTube clip for us the other night that made me laugh at myself and my usual choice of comfy pjs. (It made Tyler laugh at me even harder.) Inexplicably, it also made me think about the random heavy-breathing prankster of yesteryear and I imagined the conversation we might have now . . . if caller ID didn't exist.

Me- Hello?
Heavy Breather- (Heavy Breathing)
Me- He-llo?
HB- (Heavier Breathing)
Me- Okay, then. Thanks for playing.
HB- What (Pant) are you (Pant, pant) wearing?
Me- Um, really!
HB- Oh, yeah, reeeeally.
Me- Pajama Pants and a sweater. Excited?
HB- It's four in the afternoon.
Me- Your point?
HB- Okay. . . Mmm, hot. Is that all you're wearing?
Me- Not even close.
HB- Tell me (pant) more.
Me- I'm omitting the undie-details, but, wool socks, tights, long underwear, a turtleneck, and an apron.
HB- Are you (Pant) outside?
Me- Right. Without my ridiculous eskimo-ish coat, fur-lined boots, beanie, scarf, insulated gloves and hand warmers? Nice try.
HB- What's wrong with you?
Me- I have warmth issues.
HB-
Me- Hello?
HB-
Me- Pervert.

So, what are you wearing?