Out of all the weird things pregnancy does to a girl, the out and out craziness has to be the worst part. Worse than water retention? Yes. Worse than dropping everything you try to pick up? Yes. Worse than forgetting every word you've learned since the second grade? Yes. Worse than acid reflux, and restless leg syndrome, and peeing every thirty seconds, and having no room left in your body for your lungs, and constantly craving pellet ice, and not being able to paint your toenails all the way, and being moodier than a fat kid at boot camp, and, and, and. . .? YES!
Monday Night:
I am standing in the kitchen chopping up veggies for a stir fry (with a very sharp knife mind you) and bawling. Why? I don't know. Literally - I don't know, which is fine with me. I'm crazy pregnant lady and crying for no reason is in the job description. What isn't fine is trying to explain that I don't know why I'm crying to poor Mc-fix-it husband who innocently stumbled upon the scene. If he would have showed up fifteen minutes later I may have been just bubbly. Wish I could have stepped into his brain to watch him process the information.
Wife crying. Has knife. No blood. Belly very large. Says doesn't know why crying started. Can't stop it. Crying harder. Wow, belly even larger from side view. Take knife? Too risky. Abort mission. Call authorities. Retreat. Retreat. Retreat. Wonder what's for dinner.
I feel bad for him - for all husbands really - as they watch their wives lose their mind. There's nothing to be done. It's all about waiting and hoping the crazy goes away. And, MAN, do I hope it goes away.
P.S. Scary belly shots follow. Continue at your own risk.
Oh my, lost something.
No, no. False alarm. They're right there.
And Izzy too. Wow. I'm like a human sun-shade, or umbrella - if you will.
9 comments:
Oh, honeeeeyyyyyy! All I have to say is that if he hasn't gotten it by now...well there just may be not hope. Just be careful not to really loose those feet - keep an eye on them because after all this time of patient suffering they deserve a new pair of HOT shoes when the belly isn't there to steal the spotlight.
I'm dying laughing. Will you start writing a column or something? These pictures are priceless.
When is that baby coming? I'm guessing Disneyland in October is out of the question?
Baby is officially due Oct. 11th, but I'm shooting for around the first instead. Disney might not be a good trip for us quite yet! One of these years we'll get on the same schedule as you all.
Okay I love those pictures too!! I never thought to take one from my view looking down.
And as far as the unexplained crying that takes place... I'm not prego.. and I still do that. Sometimes for me it just feels good to cry.
Hey, at least your toes still look nice and aren't bloated beyond recognition. right? right?
and where do you get pellet ice? sounds delicious! ;)
I LOVE the pictures! I couldn't stop laughing at all of the "worse than"
I lived on pellet ice- bought it by the bag each week (from Taco Amigo or Maceys) Dang, that sounds good right now!
I was crying at a comedy on Lifetime the other night. I know. I NEVER watch Lifetime. Just another part of the craziness.
As annoying as the crazy is, though, the feeling stupid is really starting to get to me.
Sonic is beautiful enough to sell their pellet ice by the bag too. Heaven! :)
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