Being the only girl growing up I always kind of thought I knew everything about boys. (I also felt like I knew what it was to be an only child - just with more battle scars.) Turns out I was wrong on both fronts. I get new glimpses into the male psyche every day through the four male minds I am now surrounded by. Most of the time the glimpses I get are endearing, but some of them simply reaffirm how completely different our two genders are.
Glimpse #1 - Boys on Cleaning
Me- You know what I hate? (not waiting for an answer) Dirty dishes left in the sink.
Tyler- You know what I love? That this sink is big enough to hold so many dirty dishes.
Glimpse #2 (literally, ha, ha) - Little Boys on Hygiene
Upon walking into the bathroom I discovered an un-flushed toilet - apparently this is the final stage in potty training, even my oldest (not the grown-up boy, thankfully) forgets this all too important step! (Just let it go children!) HOWEVER, instead of being upset I was overjoyed at the fact that at least whomever forgot to flush, used toilet paper! Hooray for small miracles.
Glimpse #3 - Boys on Onomatopoeia
You know how little (and big) boys use sound effects for everything? Half of Nick's names for things when he first started talking were really just the sounds those things made. Now he's progressed enough to have the following one-sided conversation with me:
"Mom, dis so funny. Gaba Hud (Jabba the Hutt) is all 'Bwaa, uhh'. An den Wuke's yike 'Whaauun-Whaauun' (light saber noises, I think). Den Tooey's (Chewie) all 'Awgghh'. And Gaba goes 'Oooogh! phhhhh!'. and dat's so funny. He goes 'Phhhhh!' Yike dat."
And Mommy 'goes' "just smile and wave, boys, smile and wave", because if I hadn't seen whichever Star Wars movie that scene was from I SO wouldn't have known what that conversation meant. Any boy -Star Wars fan or not - would have.
Glimpse #4 - Boys on Hats
One 'boy' in our house who has great hair can hardly be without his precious baseball hat - ever. If he was having a 'bad hair day' I would cut him some slack. If he were balding I might understand. If he were heading off to, say, play a baseball game I would get it. But, seriously, he gets out of bed in the morning and the hat is on before his feet hit the floor. He's not dressed, why is the hat on? 'Going somewhere', I ask? 'Yeah, downstairs', he says. 'Pants?', I say. No,no, not necessary yet, but the hat is. Today I witnessed him putting the hat on when he was heading to the shower. I cocked my head like a confused hound dog. How does the shirt come off with the hat on? Seriously. He just smiled at me, took the hat off, took the shirt off, and put the hat back on. Is it some sort of grown-up-boy rebellion?
Glimpse #5 - Boys on Hampers
Clothes Hamper: convenient, tidy receptacle for dirty laundry. AND the clothes form a pile adjacent to said hamper. We put a laundry chute in our house thinking the little boys would have SO much fun throwing their dirty clothes down it I would never have to search out their dirty underwear again. That lasted about, mmm, three days. Action figures are much more likely to make the journey down than a pair of jeans. Max actually goes to the effort of shoving all his dirty clothes (except his socks which he shoots into various hidden nooks and crannies) behind the clean clothes hanging in his closet. My biggest boy puts his unmentionables in the hamper and lays the rest of his 'worn clothes' in a pile at the end of our bed because he might wear them again. . . I say (girls against sniffing out the dirty laundry unite!!!) if it's not clean enough to put back with the clean clothes. . . probably not clean enough to wear. Maybe that's just me...
Glimpse #6 - Little boys on Kissing
Even my little Nick now covers his eyes and says, "Ewww" any time anyone kisses in a movie.(Okay, so that's pretty much just Anakin and Padme. . . or, maybe a few others.) I'm quite sure all the little girls of the world just blush and giggle.
In 'real life' even kissing has to have some goal behind it, some undetectable prize. As any purpose for kissing is lost on the little ones Nick has remedied all kissing situations (such as goodnight kisses, owie kisses, etc.) by deciding it's a contest of sorts and pronouncing a winner each time. Don't know what the rules are. Doubt there is a system of points. All I know is that upon being kissed, or delivering a kiss he shoots his hands over his head and shouts, "I WON da KISSING!". Boys.
Glimpse #7 - Boys on Fun
Tyler used to always say "A dogs' happiness is directly related to how dirty they are". So true, and so true also for little boys. Holly and I took the boys with us to ride at the arena today. I planned for their warmth - coats, hats, gloves, and cocoa. I planned for their entertainment - backpacks full of toys / books / you name it. I planned for their tummies - they had cereal, grapefruit, and eggs before we left and three snacks for while we were there. I didn't plan for the dirt factor. Why? Because I'm a girl, and no matter how much time I spend around horses and horsie-places, I would never intentionally get down in the soft, stinky, manure filled dirt. Just wouldn't. Why would anyone. . .unless they were boys. You would think I would have learned by now. We had been riding for maybe ten minutes with the boys safely stowed on the bleachers when Grey called to me. I knew they had been running circles around the bleachers but was still surprised when I looked up to see him covered from head to toe in the extra filthy dirt of a riding arena. I'm not talking 'I got my boots. . . dusty' covered either. I'm talking I'm-not-sure-what-color-his-jeans-used-to-be, didn't-I-just-wash-that-coat, why-does-my-five-year-old-have-a-mustache covered. When I asked him why he was so dirty he simply said, (with an expression of bewildered innocence) "I was rolling". Yes, rolling. Like, 'duh, rolling, Mom'. Of course he's rolling - look at all the dirt! Later in the day he said it was his best day ever. I'm thinking it was the dirt. No wonder they don't like to clean.
All things said, I love my boys, all of them. I love that they are such boys. I love their funny boyish ways. I love that I can see my own ridiculous girlie habits and quirks more clearly through their eyes, and hope I am the better for it.
* photo courtesy Kiera Eve Photography
9 comments:
Wendy,
You are so clever. I loved reading this. You are so funny and I love your writing style. This reminds me a lot of our friend Emily Kawasaki Smith. She writes about "Lessons her kids have taught her". If you haven't read her blog recently you should http://chaosandclarity.blogspot.com.
Your boys are so cute. I'm so glad they keep you on your toes because they most definitely make you a better person for all the trouble. :)
so true. all of it. The star wars conversation sounds especially familiar. Capes made out of blanket are not superman capes, but star wars capes. Eric took "Yoya" to church with him today.
And the mud. The dirt. The not flushing the toilet.
I loved this glimpse into your boys.
This is hilarious. You need a girl, bad. We're coming your way tomorrow morning at 9am. Will you guys be around? Or is that way too early. (Probably around 9:45 or so??)
Wendy,
Your boys are funny. The whole hat thing cracks me up.
But the whole dirty thing isn't just with boys. My girls are always "DIRTY" too. They just happen to fall in the category of "Tom boy" so therefore, they like to play in mud, in dirt, with bugs, etc..... So even if you had a girl, who knows....
THe hamper thing --- happens with my girls as well. I don't like searching out the dirty laundry and that's how it often ends up. I should go on strike or something.
I loved this post.
You have definitely got some pretty special boys running around that place! I am so glad I get to live close to you all so that I can enjoy their fun, dirt, humor, and (especially for the little ones) their extreme cuteness!
Very true, boys are absolutely baffling. I am about to bring another one into the world and a small part of me hoped I would understand this one but your entry has helped me to see reality... I may adore them but I will never understand them.
Tell Holly Hi for me!
you make me laugh!!!! I love your writing! and I loved getting your cute christmas card in the mail today! your boys are adorable!
You crack me up. I feel your pain. I finally told my kids and husband if it isn't in the hamper, then I am not washing it. It will be your fault (sure, let's see how long I stick to that threat. :) )
Every time I read your blog it makes me want to have another little boy, just so Cohen can have a best friend to play with like your boys do. :)
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