So, I've been thinking about making this the year of letting go. See, I might be just the teeny tiniest bit of a control freak - it's possible. Honestly I don't think it's a bad thing most of the time. Everyone likes things done a certain way, right? AND if someone, say your husband for instance, asks you how you want something done you should tell them how. . . exactly how. Right? And if that person is helping you fold laundry it should be okay that you want underwear to be folded just so, and each person's clothes grouped together to be put away, and clothes hung facing the same way and in their color groups. Right? Because if you have to go back and re-do all the 'help' then they're not really helping. Am I wrong here? I think not.
(Now here's the 'big but'. ) BUT, I'm a mother and part of my job as such is to teach my children to work. Last year I finally gave into that fact and handed over the chore of cleaning bathrooms to the two older boys. I still sneak in afterwards and finish the job because they can only do it over so many times before we want to poke each others eyes out and feelings get hurt. I've tried having them do the dishes. Unloading the dishwasher they can handle and it's actually pretty cute to watch. It always reminds me of the scene from Jumanji when monkeys are loose in the kitchen. (However, Tyler accused me of transferring my neurosis onto them because I like the flat-wear to be stacked neatly and facing the right way. I had to remind him of his obsession with pushing-in the dining room chairs.) Max is even pretty good at rinsing the dishes, but there's this part of me that can't just let them do it without re-checking everything afterward - re-stacking bowls, polishing glasses, re-washing pots. It feels like the first time I let each them pick out their own outfits - being torn between loving the fact that everything is mis-matched and topped off with a cape and actually feeling like we can leave the house. There's a balance I need to find between helping them grow and keeping my sanity - or is it pride - in tact. So, maybe we'll just keep working on dishes, vacuuming, and bathrooms for now. . . I'll let go of some other things later. Baby steps.
5 comments:
Baby steps are good, I feel you though and my concerns are not with children doing things right...but with my adult roommates. Considering that fact you are looking like the less crazy one. ;)
all of your "so called" neurosis seem perfect normal and acceptable to me.
I feel you here. Under my husbands insistence, I have handed over nightly dishes and laundry folding to the little ones. The dishes are overpacked and the laundry isn't folded well but I am learning to let go and it kindof feels good. We iron all the clothes anyway and it is nice not having to fold everything. letting go is good! Go for it and the kids need to leave the house knowing how to do dishes and laundry.Congrats on another boy! Boys rock.
My 3 oldest are doing their own laundry now and I am still not a peace with it....but taking baby steps. We have had a lot of refresher courses and refolding sessions.
This made me smile. We call Cohen my little OCD mini-me, because he goes around behind Matt closing drawers all the way, straightening things, etc, just like I apparently do. At least he's tidy, right?
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